Advertisement

That's Not a Press Conference, This is a Press Conference!


OPIUM Update

First up, all the news on my new show Opium, coming soon to the Spiegelworld Ballroom at The Cosmo! This place is so fancy, right? We don’t have casinos like this down under in Burrumbuttock. Last Wednesday night I went out, trading show tickets to score some tucker. Started with a gin and tonic at Jose’s and they dropped an ice cube in my drink the shape of a cricket ball! For Chris Hemsworth’s sake, I just about broke my nose with every sip. This Spaniard also does Chinese dumplings on the next floor down at China Poblana. He’s a master and I can’t wait to get him throwing some shrimp on the barbie for the Opium cast. Well Momofuku mate! If I didn’t end the night totally sauced on Hibiki down at Changy’s joint! 

The next day I surfaced at midday and held a press conference to reveal my new Opium show poster at The Chandelier Bar. Auditions have been slow and I didn’t have a cast to announce so what in the name of Naomi Watts was I going to do? Katsy turned up looking for a scoop so I gave him a bum-steer. Then the Prez arrived. Bill McBeath, what a gent; and a lover of comedy. Hoping we can get some rodeo into the new show, Wild Bill! Luckily a bunch of random idiots emerged from the desert at the last minute and threw on a bit of entertainment for the gathered ladies and gentlemen of the media. Maybe they’ll agree to be in my show. 

Word on the Strip

Intel from my mate The Gazillionaire is that Absinthe is about to be ripped off at the lonely third floor sexy club formerly known as The Act. This comes as The Venetian announced the closing of their new show Revive which is remarkable given they hadn’t even announced the opening. Crikey, Vegas is tough! I guess it saves Katsy having to scribble outta a zapper. Meanwhile I hear a whisper that Cirque du Soleil is going to put on a dinner show on the Strip. Just the other week I caught the Greyhound to check out their current ‘shnitz & tits’ show down in Mexico. For a bunch of frenchy-carnies, they sure know how to make a great taco! And former Cosmo Prez John Unwin and great mate of The Gaz is heading north to Fontainebleau; normally John heads north to Alaska with The Gaz to fish for salmon. Now he’s going to open a new OTB shop in the former shell of the FB. Gaz was meant to open Absinthe there in 2009 but his buddies James and Jeff went BK. Will the Gaz head north for a new edition of Absinthe? 

Competition

Q. Meanwhile, which music industry Topper loves hitting the Strip with his mate Jigger for a TSN (terrible show night) – and what show are they seeing this week? First correct answer wins two tickets to Opium in the Impresario’s Reserve booth with me! Email me HMH@Spiegelworld.com 


OPIUM by Spiegelworld commences previews at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas on March 13. Tickets are on sale now at www.opiumvegas.com. Reserved category tickets are available at the special price of $30 using promo code VEGAS.

Harry M. Howie is a fictional character created by Spiegelworld who submits satirical columns to Best Of Las Vegas for the amusement of our readers. If you’re not amused, just remember, this really is #fakenews. This article was presented and sponsored by Spiegelworld.

Be the first to review this item!


Bookmark this

Advertisement

Recent Articles

Queen with Adam Lambert solidifies the Park Theater’s schedule

Queen with Adam Lambert solidifies the Park Theater’s schedule

in Entertainment News

The Park Theater is striving to be the king of Las Vegas Strip venues.

Springs Preserve festival celebrates black history, culture

Springs Preserve festival celebrates black history, culture

in News

“Black history matters because the black mind matters."

South Point planning $40M upgrade to guest rooms

South Point planning $40M upgrade to guest rooms

in News

South Point plans a $40 million remodel plan to its guest rooms in the property’s three towers.

‘Tanked’ star opens fourth Donut Mania location in Las Vegas

‘Tanked’ star opens fourth Donut Mania location in Las Vegas

in Food

The grand opening will be held March 4th with Las Vegas headliners, entertainers and media competing in doughnut challenges.

Must Read Articles

Three Basic Immigration Laws You Need to Know

Three Basic Immigration Laws You Need to Know

Immigration is one of the most talked about -- yet least understood topics -- in today’s headlines.

December 26, 2017 By Law Offices of Peter L. Ashman

$800M extreme sports park south of Las Vegas Strip gets OK

$800M extreme sports park south of Las Vegas Strip gets OK

An extreme sports park with a 15-story hotel that would be built south of the Strip received county approvals Wednesday.

September 11, 2017 By Eli Segall

What about the kids?: Five common custody questions

What about the kids?: Five common custody questions

A lot of concerns and anxieties center around what will happen to a couple’s kids after a divorce. Learn the answers to common custody questions.

February 12, 2018 By Leavitt Law Firm